Finding Love in Cyberspace/Internet Dating

Internet Dating

Dating on the Internet or finding love in Cyberspace can be exciting, inviting and instant. We live in a society that requires and wants everything immediately, instantly! We have fast food restaurants, drive through bank tellers, instant credit, instant potatoes, coffee, numerous other things and now instant love!

Life After Divorce and/or Death

There IS life after divorce and life after spousal death. And life after forgiving and releasing past negative memories or previous unpleasant relationships that were not working.

The Internet provides an instant manner of communication by the click of a key on a keyboard; you can be instantly connected to people all over the world, thanks to our modern technology. Internet dating is another way of meeting people. As with everything there are pros and cons to Internet/Cyberspace love connections. It is similar to dating clubs, organizations, dances, cruises and other ways that connect singles with other singles.

The Internet is another source of meeting new and interesting people. It is also one of the tools to use to meet that special someone with which to have a long-term, happy relationship or marriage.

Internet dating can be fun, exciting and scary all at the same time. There are many levels of excitement and we all react in various ways. While it is good to move out of the Sleeping Car of the Relationship Train, it is also wise to use balance and common sense.

Meeting in Person

People may have a fantastic relationship over the telephone or by email but could be sorely disappointed when they meet in person and get to know one another. Some people may not be honest about their age, appearance, employment, intentions or marital status.

It is as much taking a risk and moving out of your comfort zone as meeting people anywhere through newspaper ads, friends, acquaintances, dating services, or places of employment. It is easier to access meeting people over the Internet than by some other methods.

Internet Dating provides a little different angle on meeting people. Some of us are trained to love through our eyes -- by what we see, not from our hearts.

Internet Stories

One lady had a fantastic relationship by email and lengthy telephone conversations and when she met the gentleman she could not get past the fact that he was, in her opinion, grossly overweight. In his email he said he was a little big. She said their minds fell desperately in love, but their bodies did not cooperate. The relationship fizzled out. Sometimes I think about those two minds in love, floating and traveling in space. . . .

Don and Rhonda

Donald met Rhoda on the Internet Chat Line. They carried on a long distance romance. Finally they met and have since moved in together. They found happiness through cyberspace.

During the course of speaking with men and women who employed this method of meeting other singles, I was told that both sexes give misleading information about age, weight and physical appearance. Some of the pictures they send over the Internet or by snail mail were true twenty years ago. It is important to search for and demand honesty and integrity when searching for that special person.

Dan and Suzie

Dan met Suzie on the Internet. He told me Susie said she was just over thirty. After they met, she finally confessed that she was fifty-four. While she did appear youthful for her age, she was not completely honest. Dan was very disappointed because, among other things, he wanted to have children and felt it would not be possible with Suzie because of her age. Dan says he stills thinks fondly of Suzie but trust for him is not there. He is off cyberspacing again hoping to meet his special lady. I gave him an affirmation to do and I am confident he will soon call me, telling the good news about his new relationship.

Cecilia and Anthony

Cecilia met Anthony on the Internet. He was from another country. E-mails were flying back and forth and she was on Cloud Nine! He flew to Canada to meet her they liked each other and hit it off immediately. It seemed so wonderful and everything was magical. After a six weeks' visit he went home. When he arrived back home he sent her an e-mail saying that he had undergone a change of heart. She said the email was so business like and very different from the previous ones declaring his undying love for her. She was mystified and could not understand what went wrong. What took place on that eight-hour flight back home? He never answered any of her e-mails, notes or telephone calls. Her theory is that he got scared of his feelings of love for her, the commitment issue came up and he decided to end it. She may be right.

Julie and Steve

Julie met Steve over the Internet. They started e-mailing and this continued for at least one and a half years. They spoke to each other on the telephone daily and the telephone bills were sky high. The "I love you's," were thick and flying back and forth at break-neck speed. He decided to take a car trip to Seattle to meet her. She was so excited and asked me if I would accompany her. When she told me what the plan was, I was totally shocked.

He wanted her to be dropped of at a Rest Area Stop and she was so enamored with Steve that she had agreed. I absolutely refused to take her there. She reluctantly agreed to go with my plan and when Steve phoned later and found out he was very angry and hostile. She told him we would be meeting him at a Mall in the Seattle area. At least, I thought, if she did not like him, I could drive her back to her vehicle. When he arrived we were both in a total state of shock.

First of all he did not remotely resemble the Internet picture, and secondly he was unkempt, unshaven and very scary looking. Five minutes into the conversation he asked Julie if he could borrow $100. After Julie paid the restaurant bill, we both looked at each other in amazement. Needless to say she sent him packing. She thanked me repeatedly with tears streaming down her cheeks for insisting they meet at the Mall as I drove her back to her vehicle. It could have turned out very differently.

Helga and James

Another of my friends met her husband over the Internet and I was proud to be her Maid of Honor at her wedding. Three years later, they are still happily married.

Jackie and Harold

Jackie met her employer Harold who has been an absolute Godsend to her. He was separated at the time. They discovered that they were not compatible as lovers, but struck up a successful, thriving business. Today it is worth more than a quarter of a million dollars annually.

Matt and Theresa

Matt met Theresa over the Internet. He fell desperately in love with her. He loved her voice, her manner and personality. They had numerous telephone conversations and exchanged letters and e-mails. There was one thing that bothered Matt. She was always very evasion when he suggested that they meet in person. She always had an excuse. Finally he remembered something that was said in conversation about the place where she worked. He started piecing things together and found out where she worked. When he finally located her, he found out she was a married woman with four young children.

When he confronted her on the telephone, she admitted it and said she was not ready or prepared to break up her family, but just wanted to be pursued by another man. She actually wanted to have an affair with Matt and still keep her marriage in tact. Matt is still grieving over Theresa and he is very hurt that she strung him along and was not truthful.

He told me that he will be a little more careful who he gives his heart to. It was a harsh lesson, but Matt has not given up on his search for the perfect woman for him. He is also doing the affirmation I taught him and specifying that this lady is honest and truthful. He is in my prayers and affirmations.

Nadia and Steve

Nada goes cyberspace surfing. Perhaps I was curious and maybe even lonely. After noticing an Internet advertisement, I decided to fill out a profile and see what I might find. It was a one-month free trial. Initially I exercised some caution and excluded uploading my photo. Little did I know that the person I was about to meet online was going to influence my life in more ways than he even knows! I conversed with two males at the same time.

I felt awkward doing so, however, that is the reality out there. I did notice how there is an indescribable aura, tone, mood and personality to each person, even though we were not conversing in person. I took a real liking to Steve. He was a vice president of a company in New York, established, well educated and grounded - exactly what I needed at that time of my life.

Our communication lasted about eight months. It consisted of email and telephone calls. Steve, a recovering alcoholic, helped me realize that I needed and could benefit from counselling. The reality is that I was certainly not ready in any way for any kind of relationship. He was a good listener; he knew just what to say that would help me answer my own questions. He shared with me his experience with co-dependency which plagues many people today.

As a single parent, I was experiencing emotional, physical and financial challenges that affected my son's behaviour. I began seeking counselling for my son, which in turn commenced counselling for me. Later to discover that my son's emotional state was merely a reflection of me. Fortunately, for approximately three years, I persisted in the process of self-discovery and have benefited enormously.

Having pressure to remarry again from family and friends, I ventured again this time by placing my profile at two separate services. The profiles did not have very many details outlining each individual. One person I recall had lied about his age, claiming to be ten years younger than he was. Honesty is paramount for me and I would imagine for most people. Disappointed with the quality of some profiles, I put more of my focus back on the other company.

Having gone through counselling, I was a more confident person. I had no reluctance to being open and up front by including my photos. Personally, I only fully read and viewed profiles that included photos. Looks are important; however, not the deciding factor for the success of a relationship; and I do not mean Mr Universe.

I noticed my number one match was a profile that did not have a photo available. I ignored that profile for about two months. One day, I decided to read through this profile, which outlined his physical traits, personality and activities. At this point, I knew what type of men I found attractive and this individual had traits I was looking for. His photo was not available; it was 'for friends only'. Luckily he included a return email address. He was an attractive single father, devoted to his children, a successful businessman, educated, compassionate, witty, and as I began to know him more, noticed he was extremely talented in writing.

I would confidently say that he is one of the best writers that I have ever had the privilege of reading. This began an equally profound experience for me as having attended counselling. Without faltering, I must put what I have learned into action with Lawrence. We have communicated for 11 months now, mostly via email. Though we have not yet physically met, I feel I know him well and consider him a close friend. I have immensely matured by honestly looking at my strengths and weaknesses and giving myself a fair evaluation.

I have learned so much about myself from this relationship. I became conscious of what is important and is not important to me; what I want in a relationship and what I do not want. I have learned when to say enough is enough and how to regain my power when I'm feeling helpless and overwhelmed. I have spent months working on my personal childhood issues of rejection and abandonment. Many times I would feel on the verge of nausea just before opening his email, from the debilitating fear of rejection. I have learned to exercise mind power when I am totally filled with the feeling of fear.

My task was to stay calm and comfort that small wounded child within myself by saying: "I am safe and I won't leave you". Communicating with Lawrence has also, acquainted me with my writing capabilities as another form of personal expression. This man has influenced my life, to what capacity, only God knows at this point. Perhaps because of him, I have gained enough confidence to now to pursue writing my first book. This is a relationship I will truly treasure. Of course, like any other relationship, we have had our challenges. Challenges that others may perceive as negative have been positive experiences as they have given me tremendous clarity in seeking the right man for me. Now that is worth it!

During the last couple of months, I added my profile to another service. I remember thinking, 'why not, I have nothing to lose by having my profile out there'. From coaching, I had a clear picture of what type of man I wanted. I put my focus on what I wanted, as opposed to what I did not want. Shortly after, I received an email from a very attractive man, David, who is a successful Marketing Director, educated, grounded, well organized, honest,
pro-active and loved to communicate. He was very direct and made his intentions clear from his first email. He wanted a committed relationship and to meet with me the following month. I was very surprised and even frightened by his level of directness. This was something I was not used to, from communicating with Lawrence. David was completely different in his approach and personality. We started communicating by telephone within twenty-four hours of his first email.

Our almost daily talks went on for hours; he loved planning what we would do together. This friendship abruptly ended as it hastily began. Why I attracted David into my life, I am not completely sure of at this point. One thing I am sure of is we sometimes attract what we do not want in our lives or in this case challenges that require personal growth for both of us. My coach was right, the real test for me in meeting David, was to be proud of who I am and not apologize for any aspect of me. And yes, I am a wonderful, loving person, who is deserving, exactly as I am! July 10, 2002 Nada Adams

There are numerous case histories.

It is very important to stay balanced and use your common sense.

When planning to do some Internet surfing and relationship searching on the Internet also do the accompanying Master Affirmation. This is your Trigger Tool or Magic Wand to making your dreams a reality and attract that special person to you.

Surf With Your Own Master Affirmation in Tact

When planning to do some Internet surfing and relationship searching on the Internet also do the accompanying Master Affirmation. This is your Trigger Tool or Magic Wand to make your dreams a reality and attract that special person to you now.

Expect him or her to walk right out of your affirmation!

"I, (your name), deserve and now have a lasting, loving, happy, healthy relationship with the perfect person for me. I find him or her on the Internet and we enjoy a rewarding, fulfilled happy relationship/marriage. Divine Wisdom knows where this person is and the power of my subconscious mind brings us together in its own way. He or she is honest, trustworthy and dependable as I am honest, trustworthy and dependable. We are happy, fulfilled, and peaceful to the good of all parties concerned. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."

I fully accept

Signed: ___________________________
Dated: ___________________________

When you date and sign your Master Affirmation, you have made a firm and binding contract with your Higher Self, God, Universal Mind or whomever you believe in. Even a check is worthless unless it is dated and signed.

When meeting the stranger that you have been communicating with on the Internet, meet at a public place. When in doubt, don't do it. Listen to your small still voice (intuition) and let it be your guide.

When doing affirmations of this type, it is imperative to use balance and common sense. Do not attempt to twist the affirmation to suit your own needs.

Be sure and Heed the Safety Clause

Jody told me because she did an affirmation and met a married man it was meant to be. When I questioned her further about the affirmation content, she finally admitted to me that she had overlooked adding the safety clause to the good of all parties concerned. She became very unhappy about the time she was spending alone, waiting for her married lover. The relationship ended in disaster and was a great learning experience for Jody.

Affirmations always work but they must be properly done and to the good of all parties concerned, and this includes you!

Affirmation Rules

• Never hurt or take from anyone
• Your Affirmations must be created to the good of all parties concerned and this includes you.
• There must be at least a 51% believability factor that it can manifest as affirmed.
• Use your common sense.
• Have fun

Don't look at Internet dating as the only source of meeting single people. Check out dating clubs, organizations, newspapers, singles dances, cruises, church gatherings garage sales, swap meets, grocery stores (especially the produce department and be aware of those people shopping for one), and other appropriate places.

Also churches, reputable dating clubs, Internet chat room, skiing, friends, relatives, your place of employment, blind dates are all places to meet other singles.

Other places could be on cruises and vacations for singles. When a friend or relative fixed you up with a date, it can be both negative and positive.

Positive in that the person arranging the date knows you life style and characteristics and that person isn't an absolute stranger to you. It can be negative because now your friend or relative who arranged the date has a direct pipeline into the details of the date and any additional dates or involvement

Expect your first date to be a little awkward so try to break the ice. True love is built on a bridge of communication. Talk, ask questions and then listen, listen and listen. If you are sincerely interested in pursuing a relationship, use the ten magic words, "You are so interesting; please tell me all about yourself. People are always interested in talking about their lives, problems, interests and accomplishments.

The qualities you are asking for in a mate also need to be present in you. If some of them are lacking in your life, start cultivating hem today. Do not wait until the relationship is dead to realize it is finished. Do not waste time on mercy dates. Those are dates where you are wishing you were somewhere else with someone else. If the person is not interested in you, or you are not interested in them, go on to the next one. There are over six billion people on the planet and you can be sure that there is that special person just for you.

To Recap

• Make sure that thereon you are communicating with is coming from a place of integrity.
• Meet in a public place.
• Check out the person before making agreements and arrangements.
• Use your common sense.
• Do your Master Affirmation.
• Always tell a friend where you are meeting and when.
• Be honest and expect honesty from him or her. If you don't feel comfortable about something - UN-AGREE.
• Be safe, happy and most of all -- have fun!

Affirmations When Properly Done Always Work.

Dr. Anne Marie Evers

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About the author

Dr. Anne Marie Evers has spent the last 35 years leading people going through turbulence in their lives using a combination of affirmations and creative visualization. The results are miraculous.

Dr. Evers has free daily affirmations, and other free information on her website: www.annemarieevers.com

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